An emotional intelligence analyst has discovered why your personality might have such an effect on your performance in real life, and whether it’s worth worrying about it.
Read moreThe theory is that we have an inherent need to be liked, and when people like us, our behaviour tends to follow suit.
But, as the study by Dr Mark S. Williams, professor of psychology at Harvard University, points out, this is a simplistic view of personality.
It is based on the idea that we are more influenced by our behaviour in the world around us.
“When people have negative interactions with us, we feel less positive about them,” Dr Williams explains.
“But this isn’t necessarily because our behaviour changes, or it’s because our negative behaviour makes us feel better.”
Instead, he says, it may be because our personalities are influenced by what we are looking for in a partner.
The researchers looked at over 30,000 couples to determine whether the different types of relationships are affected by personality.
They found that, although a partner’s personality can affect a person’s happiness, it doesn’t necessarily affect how much of their partner’s happiness they get.
“A lot of people might have some type of personality that is not the opposite of another person,” Dr. Williams explains, “but that person might be happy because of that type of relationship.”
It may be that in our relationships, we get a lot of positive feedback, but the negative feedback doesn’t have as much impact on the person as it does when we’re with someone who is in a more traditional relationship.
“Read morePeople in traditional relationships tend to have more positive emotions, like happiness and confidence, while their partners may have a less positive personality.”
In the traditional relationship, the people who are happier have the best relationships,” Dr S Williams says.”
And so we might think of that as having the best of both worlds.
But in reality, the happiness of our partners is the same as the happiness in the traditional partner.
“Dr Williams says that there are two types of personality: those that are “very happy” and those that aren’t.
The happy personality tends to be happy, positive and outgoing, while the less happy personality may be happy and passive.”
What we’re finding is that when people have positive relationships, they’re more likely to have those characteristics,” he says.
That’s because, when a person is happy, they feel a positive emotion, like joy, happiness and a sense of wellbeing.”
If you’re happy, your personality may not reflect that of a person who is happy,” Dr William says.
This, in turn, means that it can be difficult for people to feel happy when they have negative emotional experiences.”
For example, when you have negative feelings about a situation or a relationship, you may find it difficult to be as happy as you should be,” he explains.
The findings could help to explain why we seem to like the people in our lives more when they’re in a relationship with a happy personality.
In a paper published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Dr Williams and his team found that it is this type of happiness that is more closely related to a partner than the personality traits.”
We find that happiness in our partners can be a proxy for a happy, outgoing personality,” he said.”
While we’re not suggesting that happiness is a perfect measure of personality, it is a good proxy for what we would consider to be the positive aspects of a relationship.””
When you are in a happy relationship, your happiness is very likely to reflect what you would consider a positive aspect of the relationship.
“Dr. Williams hopes his study will help other psychologists understand the relationship-specific aspects of personality better, and how to improve them.”
There is a lot we can learn from the research in personality, but it also provides us with a good basis for understanding our behaviour and how it relates to our happiness,” he adds.